Guys You Should Avoid This Cuffing Season

Ladies, in the midst of cutting your pre-season roster down to at least your “starting 5,” there are things to keep in mind. As a female, we get a little stubborn sometimes and we have moments where we tend to NOT listen to our friends. “No girl, do NOT talk to him. He’s crazy!” Yeah, we’ve heard this before. But how many of us really pay our “homegirl” any mind? I mean, she could just be hatin’ or cockblocking, right?

Don’t jump to that conclusion so swiftly. If she’s really your friend, she could be onto something. Maybe she knows something you don’t know. Maybe she has better judgement on exactly which guys you should be avoiding. I mean, if you’re going to “cuff” someone this season, don’t get stuck with a psycho, lame, ego-maniac, etc. Your friend could mean well. And if none of your so-called friends have put in their 2 cents just yet, let me be that friend for you. Here’s a list of guys you should avoid. And fellas, if you’re offended, I’m not sorry at all.

1) The “Rapper”

I put this one in quotations because who isn’t a rapper nowadays? The local indie rapper in your city that you know is probably not “the one.” Unless you don’t mind the fact that most of his attention will be centered on his “music” instead of your needs, then go for it. Let’s also take into consideration that if he’s a GOOD LOOKING “rapper,” he most likely has fans. And by “fans,” I mean female groupies. Do you really want to deal with that? These “rapper” guys also tend to have an ego that’s bigger than their you-know-what and like to talk that talk – to you and every other girl they meet.

2) The Blogger

This one almost has the same description as its predecessor. What’s a local rapper without someone blogging his music on their website? These bloggers get a lot of “love” and the more popular their blog, the bigger their head (no, not the one down there) usually is. Popular bloggers have cult-like followings and girls are jumping on their meat simply based off their popularity. The need to feel accepted by the “in-crowd” might be factored in and shouldn’t be. He cares more about his website hits and hitting “it,” not cuffing.

3) The Party Promoter

Just because he asked for your number, doesn’t mean he’s interested. He just wants another number to add to his “list” so when his next party comes around, he can bombard your texts with flyers. Obvi. I don’t think party promoters are fit for cuffing simply based off the fact that they are OUT all the time, surrounded by females (in short dresses & heels), who are all trying to get in the party “for free.” If the only time you and your cuffed love can hang out is at the club, he’s really not fit for your one-man team this season.

4) The Not-So-Single Guy

You really think he’s going to leave his girlfriend of “14 months” for you? You guys met how long ago? Yeah. If you’re trying to cuff someone who is already cuffed, you better be okay with being the “side chick.” There really isn’t much to explain here. Cuffing is for single folks. Plain & simple.

5) The Instagram Stud

You followed him on “IG” because he has 35K+ followers and his photos flood your feed with images of 6-pack abs, pearly white smiles, stacks of money, and “InstaQuotes” about how he’s the “good guy just looking for wifey” and blah blah blah. First off, guys who are attention whores are annoying. Yeah, I said it. That’s less attention he’ll probably give you. And those 35K+ followers, who are most likely all FEMALE btw, are probably “all up in” his DMs. If you’re into feeding egos, watching a grown ass man take selfies all day and creepers in his private messages, again.. go for it. (but don’t say I didn’t warn you)

6) The DJ

Similar to “The Party Promoter,” the DJ is another essential piece to a great fackin’ party. And his essential “piece” is probably something female party goers are going after. And who is he to turn that down? Because DJ’s, they, too, start feelin’ themselves too much. Have you ever peeped the flock of females surrounding the DJ booth at the hottest parties? You think he’s willing to cut THAT roster down to just one?

7) The Tumblr Dude

Maybe I added this simply due to the hatred I have for this “micro-blogging” social network, but yeah. The Tumblr Dude is more than likely the Instagram Stud as well. Apply same concept here.

8) The Ex

Remember the time, shortly after you guys broke up, when you told yourself “Hey, if it’s mean to be it’ll be?” Well.. do you really want to go against the odds this season? Granted some people have the fairytale story of how they got back with their “first love,” got married and have kids, etc. But you’re young, and should be learning from your mistakes. His ego is probably telling him, “I had that once, I can get it again.” Be friends, sure. But don’t jump the old bandwagon so quickly.

Now, there are probably a few other type of guys I missed on this list but these eight are at the core of it. Their common denominator, I’d have to say is, EGO. Life isn’t a Beyonce song ladies, so don’t feed into the conceit. A confident man sees no need to boast. And if you can find THAT kind of man, cuff him. Not these fools. Please also reference the list of “Red Flags” below. If a guy doesn’t seem to fit into any of these types, these actions could raise some flags:

A guy who responds and even @’s another guy who commented on one of your Facebook posts or Instagram photos. An insecure guy is not someone you’d want to deal with in the long run. If he already has problems with other guys, who are probably just your friends, commenting on SOCIAL MEDIA, save yourself the drama.
A guy who DMs you a d*ck pic. Clearly, there’s only one thing on his mind. And only one thing he wants on your mind. He’s not trying to cuff. He’s just trying to f*ck.
A guy who posts overly emotional statuses on Facebook that could probably fill a page, or two, in a diary. I’m all for self-expression, but if he’s constantly posting long ass statuses that go into detail about his every-day life, including the drama, you might want to steer the other way (and unfollow their status updates). Guys who are in tune with their emotions are cool. Guys who are just seeking attention and validation for their emotions are annoying. And immature, I might add.
Did he just quote a Drake song?! If he’s constantly using Drake lyrics to express certain things he’s going through in life, you might want to rethink his eligibility. Drake is a great artist and all, but let’s face it, he’s emo as heck. There can only be one emotional diva during cuffing season. Duh!
Clingy Behavior. Ladies, there’s a difference between a man who genuinely cares bout you and man who is just down right possessive – which equates to “clingy” behavior. If he HAS to know where you are every hour of the day and checks your FourSquare religiously, that’s not cool. At all. If he doesn’t let you hang out with your friends and only wants you to hang out with him on your free time, that’s not cool either. This is a huge red flag because sometimes “clinginess” can lead to abusive behavior.
He’s a Knicks fan. What’s more annoying than a fan who claims they have the best team in the NBA even though they havent won a chip since the 70s? Nothing. Sure, you guys have one of the best scorers in the league but Melo ain’t getting a ring for NY on his own. NY Knicks fans are obnoxious. You don’t want to deal with that during the entire season.

So ladies, equip yourself with this knowledge before you make final cuts. You don’t want to end up cuffing the wrong guy. Especially since this season is looking like it’s going to be a long one.

By Maria “My-My” Yap